Four years ago today Caleb & I were married before our family and friends. We have been together for about six years, but never lived in the same city until our wedding day. Moving in together was a big adjustment, but felt natural and fun from the beginning. As we are celebrating four years of marriage, I wanted us to each share four lessons we’ve learned over the past four years. 
Chloé–
1. Think before speaking.
Easier said than done, I know. Over the past four years I’ve learned just how selfish I am. I’m pretty sure I can count on one hand the number of times I have been frustrated with Caleb for being selfish. I, however, need two hands to count the number of times I am selfish- each week… I am working on biting my tongue and recognizing my selfish ways before verbalizing them.
2. Adventure is important.
We have a long bucket list of places we want to go or things we want to see. Sometimes, we just need a vacation (even if it is a staycation) to remind us of the honeymoon phase and how exciting it is that we get to do life alongside our best friend. We always return from our adventures (no matter how big or small) a little more connected than when we left.
3. Celebrate the little moments.
Caleb and I have learned to celebrate even the smallest of moments. No moment is too small to savor. Even on the hardest days, there is still something worth celebrating. Whether that means opening champagne because it’s Monday or simply staying on the sunny side of the street to let the sun shine upon your face for a few extra minutes {even though the cross walk says it is time to cross}. Find little moments together and soak them up.
4. Conversation is crucial.
I’m not a huge fan of sharing my struggles and I tend to bottle my frustrations up until I can’t handle them anymore- not healthy, I know. But in marriage, there is no way of hiding it. Sometimes, you have to have those crucial conversations and unload your baggage. Before we were married we came up with these seven weekly questions that we ask each other each Sunday. Are they sometimes awkward? Yes. Are they always helpful? Yes.
Caleb–
1. You have to keep things fresh.
I am a person who does well working with a schedule and a routine. I can easily get in a rhythm and get lost in “trying” to be productive (please notice the quotation marks). Over the last four years I have learned how important it is to my wife and myself to get out of our routine and go to a Broadway show or out to dinner when we planned on eating at home. You have to be willing to get outside of your routine to continue to learn more about each other and love one another more deeply.
2. Marriage is about creating new memories and experiences.
So this isn’t necessarily an AHA kind of statement. I think we all know a whimsical lifestyle full of memories and new experiences is truly worthwhile. What I have learned in my four years of marriage is that making memories and having new experiences is crucial. Every chance we get to travel, try something new or indulge in a nice bottle of champagne is an opportunity to live this whimsical lifestyle we strive for.
3. Flowers might not last, but the feeling they give your wife are lasting.
I was never the kind of guy to buy flowers. I looked at them from a more practical perspective. I thought the cost did not outweigh the benefit. After four years of marriage, I can truly tell you my philosophy was flawed. It isn’t really even the flowers my wife loves (OK, maybe it is); it is the thought and knowledge that goes into purchasing and delivering those flowers to Chloé (thank you brilliant flower marketers). If your wife or significant other is not a flower person, then please think about something they love that would be even more special coming from you. The thought truly does count.
4. Being smart with money truly makes my wife love me more.
If you have taken the time to read through all of my lessons, then you are probably seeing the dollar signs line up. However, I can truly tell you there are not many things I can do to make Chloé love me more than being frugal. We truly try not to spend money when we do not have to. We save, save and save some more (thank you Dave Ramsey), so that when we have the opportunity to go make a memory or check something off our bucket list, we don’t have to think twice about it. In our 4 years of marriage I have learned the difference between being able to book that international trip or not, can truly come down to simply living a little more frugally for a month or two.
What advice have you heard or would you give to a married couple?
Photos by Ashley Monogue Photography
You two are the absolute cutest!! Happy Anniversary!
Thank you Allie! xox
Love that!
Thank you! Loved seeing what tips Caleb came up with :)
Really loved these lessons! I think I agree most that communication is key and that it’s important to share new memories and experiences with one another! Doing something fun and new is always more fun and exciting when it’s with someone you care about, and it helps bring you closer together!
Lauren
http://oliverstwistblog.com
So so true!! Couldn’t agree more!!
I really love this! Very helpful because I know I have my moments of being selfish.. Caleb’s tips= AWESOME! Especially #4! Thank you so much for sharing and continued blessings to you and Caleb! Take Care!
I was so excited to see what he would come up with and I’d say he hit the nail on the head! Have a great day!
This is very insightful. There is always something to learn, especially about yourself when you’re married. Congratulations to you both xx
You are so right- I was shocked how much I have learned about myself through marriage! Thank you! xox
All of these tips are amazing! Adore that your husband took a part in these tips! We have two little ones so one of our big ones is purposefully making a time for a date night! Loved reading this post.
Amanda |
Isn’t it kind of fun that he partook in sharing!? I was so excited and curious what he was going to share! Obviously, we don’t have kids yet- but I LOVE hearing tips from couples who do! Hoping to add kids to our family in the next year or two!
Happy Anniversary! Sounds like you guys have learned some great lessons. I’ve been married 8 years and with my hubby for 11 and would say some of those lessons took us longer to learn than 4 years (especially the one about the flowers….still working on that).
Carly at A Modern Mom Blog
Haha oh girl- it took a while for him to understand the flower thing too. But better late than never, right ;) Congrats on 8 years! Cheers to many, many more! xox
Great tips thanks for sharing, super cute that your husband participated too :)
I thought it was kind of fun that he wanted to add his two cents too :) Have a great day!
Great tips!! You look so wonderful together. May your life be always filled with love, happiness and understanding! Happy Anniversary!
Thank you!! You are far too sweet! xox
Awe, this was so sweet! I’m so glad to see people working to always improve!
Thank you Kaleigh! Learning and improving just adds more to the adventure! :)
That sounds like great advice! I admit that marriage isn’t something I know anything about, but I’m impressed that you two didn’t live in the same city before you were married! You must have had a special connection.
We actually learned that living long distance forced us to have those crucial conversations and be so much more intentional in our relationship. It wasn’t easy- but it was worth it!
Your #3 I love!!! celebrating little moments. My husband and I do that very often. We celebrate some days at a locla coffee shop others we celebrate by foing running at a canyon. Or even going out for a mid day lunch. It’s beautiful:)
Reading this post is like reading a brief summary of a book. I really enjoyed it. I am so admiring both of you know the importance of making time for each other. GIGI
These are so great! I love the celebrating little moments and Caleb’s flowers. It really makes a world of difference! This is so sweet! xo Bryn http://www.waketonroad.com
This is such a lovely and very helpful post! Best of luck with all your futur endeavors.
Ps:
Never underestimate the power of simple and random acts of kindness 😉
Happy wedding anniversary! I recently celebrated my third wedding anniversary. Love all of these lessons… they are so true.