Every Sunday my husband and I have a date. Depending on the weather our date varies from a walk, lunch, coffee or just hanging out. Regardless of what we choose to do we always ask each other 7 questions.
- How did you feel loved this past week?
- How would you feel most loved & encouraged in the days ahead?
- How would you best feel pursued in sex/intimacy this week?
- Is there anything we would like to do differently this week than we did last week?
- How can I better serve you this week?
- What were your struggles this past week?
- How can I pray for you this week?
Prior to getting married we were told that the first year of marriage is the hardest. While there are many reasons for this, the main reason is lack of communication and a simple misunderstanding. When two individuals come together they each bring their own expectations, their own understandings and their own needs. My husband and I have learned that in order to love one another more deeply it is imperative that we communicate our needs. Thus these questions were formed.
These questions take us about 30 minutes every Sunday. These questions help us to communicate our needs and have been a blessing to our marriage and to us as individuals. We truly enjoy this time together. Not only are these questions great for newlyweds, but they are even great for couples who have been married for 50 years or more. We encourage you to set a day once a week and try this with your spouse (try them for at least a month). Feel free to adapt the questions to fit your relationship. What questions would you add?
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I like this. People are for the most part very dynamic, always changing. The things that we experience cause us to change our feeling or reactions. Even when we experience them with someone else, our own personal reaction may vary. Taking the time to ask these question and then to listen carefully sounds like a great idea. I might add a few more minutes to the schedule for kissing. My wife and I have been married for 44 years and even now it is hard to keep aligned with one another. Thanks for sharing. Good blog site.
Thank you for sharing. It is always encouraging to hear stories from individuals who have been married for so long- what a true blessing! Having had so much experience in being married, do you have any other questions you would add? Or any tips you would recommend?
From what I see you have got it right. I wish that I had this understanding in the beginning our our relationship because perhaps we would not have had some of the rough time that we did. Often time we think that because we have known each other for so long, that we already know what is needed. Sometime my wife will get mad because I haven’t said what she expected that I would say to her in a situation. But I had not and she was hurt. Perhaps just having this discussion would be the key. And maybe a sign like, if the picture on the entry table is turned toward the wall, it means our spouse needs us to inquire what is wrong. Because sometimes just saying the words, “We need to talk” can be hard to say and terrifying to the one you are saying it to.
This is incredible. TOTALLY want to do this with my husband! Thank you for the idea
So worth it! You will love it! If you add/change any questions I would love to hear your ideas :)
These are great questions, Chloe! I especially like the question about serving. That is so powerful. I might also add Was there anything that made you anxious this past week? I suppose any of the questions could be followed by a simple, Tell me more, and take the conversation even deeper. Great post! Thanks for sharing!
Steve
http://www.spousedates.com
LOVE the idea of adding that question! Thank you for the suggestion! We will add that one in this Sunday and see how it goes! :) Have a blessed day Steve!
Absolutely love this idea! When I get married, I so want to do this!
These are amazing! We started doing them 2 months ago after finding this on Pinterest and our marriage is already getting so much better due to communication!