I have to be honest, my 20s looked nothing like I expected. If you had asked me or my parents about my future when I was in high school, we likely would have guessed I would get married around 30 because my goal was to become independently successful and then get married and have a family. Well, I got married at 21- straight out of college. And looking back, it worked out just the way it should have for me.
Over the past {almost} 30 years, I’ve learned so much about myself and what’s important. Here are 20 things I learned in my 20s.
- Prioritize yourself :: You know on airplanes how the flight attendants tell you to put your mask on first before you take care of those around you? Well I’ve come to realize life is similar. Sometimes you have to prioritize yourself and make sure your needs are taken care of before you can take care of others. You can’t pour water out of an empty glass. Take time to fill up your own glass!
- Be selective :: It’s important to be selective about what and who you let into your life. Make sure the people you surround yourself with help bring out the best version of you. If they don’t build you up, cut them out or at the very least limit the time you give to them. Same goes for how you spend your time. Life is too short to waste time on things that don’t matter.
- Make time for ‘whimsy’ :: I love making plans and living my a schedule. I function better when I have some type of schedule. However, I’ve learned the best moments are usually unplanned. So it’s important to make time or leave extra time for those little whims and surprises.
- Trust your instinct :: I’ve learned to really listen to my instincts over the years. 9 times out of 10, my intuition leads me in the correct direction.
- You find what you look for :: Growing up my dad taught me a quote by Charles Swindoll- “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” And he is right. You don’t always get to choose your circumstances, but you do get to choose your attitude. And choosing to be joyful and choosing to look for the good will ALWAYS make things better. If you look for the good in a situation/person, you will find it. If you look for the bad in a sitation/person, you will find it.
- Continue learning :: Read, listen to podcasts, & surround yourself with others who are doing the same.
- How someone treats you is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves :: You can learn a lot about a person based on how they treat others. Over the years I’ve learned how someone treats you says more about their personality {and possibly insecurities} than it does about your own. Take everything as a grain of salt and recognize that those who are hardest to love, often need the most love. Don’t let someone else’s issues bring you down.
- Traveling is always a good idea :: Traveling has helped shape who I am as an individual in the best ways possible. It has helped teach me to be flexible, to change my perspective and so, so much more.
- The most important things in life are not things, they are people :: Cliché, I know. But I’ve learned how important it is to prioritize people and relationships over possessions. Invest in quality friendships & spend time with loved ones.
- Ask for what you want :: Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. The worst they can do is say no. So many doors have been opened to me purely because I had the courage to ask!
- Forgive quickly :: Grudges and anger hurt you more than they do the other person. Forgive quickly and move on. But remember- just because you’ve chosen to forgive and move on, does not mean you need to forget. Learn and move forward.
- Find what brings you joy :: My girl friend Mallory did a podcast where she discusses what makes a day a “good day.” If you were to make a list of 4 things that have to happen for a day to be good, what would they be? Then find a way to incorporate them into every day as best you can! Do little things every day that bring you joy!
- Spend time in the Word :: As someone who grew up in a Christian home, this was kind of a duh. But it’s so much easier said than done. Life happens and distractions come our way. But I’m am such a better wife, mother and person when I spend time in the Word. And some days I have to give myself grace and know that simply listening to worship music & spending time in prayer is enough.
- Happiness is an emotion, joy is a choice :: You might not always be happy, but you can always choose to be joyful. I’m still working on this one.
- Save money and invest wisely :: When I graduated college my parents had me go through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. It taught me so many important lessons about money. To this day, the only debt I have is our home mortgage and we are working our way to pay that off ASAP. Don’t spend money you don’t have!
- It’s okay to not be okay, it’s not okay to stay there :: Matt Chandler said that in a sermon I heard in high school and it has stuck with me. I’ve come to learn that everyone will have highs and lows. And it’s okay to be in a season of lows. But it’s not okay to stay there. Make sure you surround yourself with people and things that lift you up.
- Take care of your body :: You only get one body. Make sure you are feeding yourself nutritiously and using products that are quality.
- Be nicer than you feel :: You never know what kind of day others are having. Give away smiles and compliments as often as you can! Be the reason someone smiles today. Not only is it nice, it makes you feel good too!
- Get outside of your comfort zone :: Be adventurous and try something new whenever you have the opportunity! Do something the scares you! Try a new food, visit a new place, say yes to something you normally would say no to. You’ll be surprised how much you’ll learn about yourself and possibly even find something new you love!
- Embrace your inner child :: I love growing up and am so thankful for the opportunity to grow older. But I never want to lose sight of the child within me. After having Cayson I’ve been reminded how magical the world is when you look at it through the eyes of a child. He sees the world with so much opportunity, so much joy & he doesn’t take anything too seriously. Remember to embrace your silly side & look for the magic in each day.
sweater old, similar here & here :: jeans :: shoes :: necklace :: sunglasses
These are some wise lessons to learn in your twenties! It took me into my thirties and foruties to secure some of these. I wish I paid more attention to the financial aspect of life sooner than I did. Perhaps its becasue I was raised in a different generation but I am way more attneive to my children than my parents were and try to instill these lessons to them at an early age. This is a great list that I will be sharing.
These are some really awesome life lessons! And you’re so lucky to have learned these so young as well! I love your point that joy is a choice. That really stuck with me! Thank you for sharing!
Kileen
cute & little
Talk about incredible wisdom. You really have learned so much over the years, and I appreciate your openness and willingness to share with your audience. The point that stood out the most to me was, “it’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not okay to stay there.” WOW. Talk about an important reminder! I’m unsurprised that Matt Chandler was the person who quoted that!
I love these types of lists and I do hope many more people do them as well. They are a great reminder of growth and illustrates wisdom.
Fantastic post and I agree these are all great lessons to learn no matter what age you are!
These are amazing life lessons! I’ll keep this in mind. I hope we all have a great lifetime. Thanks for sharing!
Love these life lessons! I always have thought to just let go of anything that may be holding you down. I always say life is short, and we really just need to live our best life.
These are great lessons to learn at any age! Life is what you make of it, so make it the best life possible! Traveling IS always a good idea, and you don’t need much money to travel, believe it or not.
I’m turning 27 in a few weeks and have been reflecting on this decade as well. You’ve really encapsulated the lessons learned on this decade. The one that struck me the most in your list was be nicer than you feel. I have a tendency to project my negative feelings when I’m down like most people do so I really like this tip and I’m going to implement it.
These lessons are need to learnt. I just clocked 30 clocked 30 few months and I am ready to use all the lessons i have learnt from my 20s to live my life.
#2 is called ‘planned spontaneity.’ ;) I love all of these, but I am especially fond of “nicer than you feel.” I think we would live in the much better world if everyone remembered that. I have my own version of it — I call it Thumper’s mom’s rule. In the movie Bambi, she was the one who said that if you have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Wonderfull wise words Chloe. Your learning of forgive quickly reminded me of a quote that’s always stuck with me – Forgive your enemies but don’t forget their names!
P.S. I love your picutres- so bright and happy!
Some great advice – I wish I had seem a post like this back when I was in my early 20s and trying to figure life out. I could have avoided a lot of challenges and set backs along the way! Especially when it comes to the fact that you need to be selective about who deserves to have access to your life and your time. Far too often I have been hurt by allowing toxic or negative people in. But what did I expect? I recognized they were toxic and ‘drank the poison’ anyway. Now in my 30s, I spend time with fewer people but the relationships that I have with those people are much stronger and far more positive.
Some really great life lessons for any age! I can’t even choose one or two that I like best because they are all so valuable. I think we all have to move through our own challenges to find out these life lessons, but once we do, we can feel so much more at peace.
Must say these are some great lessons of life which we all must pursue irrespective of our age. Some start thinking early about these while some start late but all that you mention here are so much value related and means to be satisfied and happy. ‘Let the child remain in you’ has been one of my moto of life.
LOVE this and yes I learnt a fair few of these too in my twenties. The one about trusting your gut and instincts is a must x
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