Every Sunday my husband and I have a date. Depending on the weather our date varies from a walk, lunch, coffee or just hanging out. Regardless of what we choose to do we always ask each other 7 questions.
- How did you feel loved this past week?
- How would you feel most loved & encouraged in the days ahead?
- How would you best feel pursued in sex/intimacy this week?
- Is there anything we would like to do differently this week than we did last week?
- How can I better serve you this week?
- What were your struggles this past week?
- How can I pray for you this week?
Prior to getting married we were told that the first year of marriage is the hardest. While there are many reasons for this, the main reason is lack of communication and a simple misunderstanding. When two individuals come together they each bring their own expectations, their own understandings and their own needs. My husband and I have learned that in order to love one another more deeply it is imperative that we communicate our needs. Thus these questions were formed.
These questions take us about 30 minutes every Sunday. These questions help us to communicate our needs and have been a blessing to our marriage and to us as individuals. We truly enjoy this time together. Not only are these questions great for newlyweds, but they are even great for couples who have been married for 50 years or more. We encourage you to set a day once a week and try this with your spouse (try them for at least a month). Feel free to adapt the questions to fit your relationship. What questions would you add?
12 Comments
I Love You {Most} |
January 26, 2013 at 8:27 am[…] important. Thank you for wanting to make memories together. From the vacations, our little dates, weekly questions and so much more. You make every moment memorable and always know how to make me laugh. You have […]
cfryalls
May 9, 2013 at 3:21 pmI like this. People are for the most part very dynamic, always changing. The things that we experience cause us to change our feeling or reactions. Even when we experience them with someone else, our own personal reaction may vary. Taking the time to ask these question and then to listen carefully sounds like a great idea. I might add a few more minutes to the schedule for kissing. My wife and I have been married for 44 years and even now it is hard to keep aligned with one another. Thanks for sharing. Good blog site.
beyond blessed blog
May 9, 2013 at 4:47 pmThank you for sharing. It is always encouraging to hear stories from individuals who have been married for so long- what a true blessing! Having had so much experience in being married, do you have any other questions you would add? Or any tips you would recommend?
cfryalls
May 9, 2013 at 5:25 pmFrom what I see you have got it right. I wish that I had this understanding in the beginning our our relationship because perhaps we would not have had some of the rough time that we did. Often time we think that because we have known each other for so long, that we already know what is needed. Sometime my wife will get mad because I haven’t said what she expected that I would say to her in a situation. But I had not and she was hurt. Perhaps just having this discussion would be the key. And maybe a sign like, if the picture on the entry table is turned toward the wall, it means our spouse needs us to inquire what is wrong. Because sometimes just saying the words, “We need to talk” can be hard to say and terrifying to the one you are saying it to.
Shelly
July 15, 2013 at 12:29 pmThis is incredible. TOTALLY want to do this with my husband! Thank you for the idea
beyond blessed blog
September 26, 2013 at 5:15 pmSo worth it! You will love it! If you add/change any questions I would love to hear your ideas :)
Spouse Dates (@Spouse_Dates)
November 20, 2013 at 7:16 pmThese are great questions, Chloe! I especially like the question about serving. That is so powerful. I might also add Was there anything that made you anxious this past week? I suppose any of the questions could be followed by a simple, Tell me more, and take the conversation even deeper. Great post! Thanks for sharing!
Steve
http://www.spousedates.com
beyond blessed blog
November 21, 2013 at 9:32 amLOVE the idea of adding that question! Thank you for the suggestion! We will add that one in this Sunday and see how it goes! :) Have a blessed day Steve!
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January 17, 2014 at 8:59 pm[…] Seven Simple Weekly Questions for Couples by Cloe Arnold […]
Lessons from 2 Years of Marriage | beyond blessed
August 26, 2014 at 3:05 am[…] of my favorite weekly dates is the time we spend going over our Weekly Questions. They take all of 20 minutes but they bring such joy to my heart. I always feel like a burden has […]
Allie
July 25, 2016 at 5:56 pmAbsolutely love this idea! When I get married, I so want to do this!
Becca
November 16, 2018 at 11:22 amThese are amazing! We started doing them 2 months ago after finding this on Pinterest and our marriage is already getting so much better due to communication!